Lately, I think very much about death. About his deep meaning. About an infinite and stable Universe where the energy is not created, nor detroyed; but only transformed. It is clear death is not the end, but the beginning of something else. A deep transformation. A film that ends in order to switch off the tv screen and continue with what you where doing, or starting to do something else. 

The death means transcendence.

Inside this frame, it is clear that everything that happens to you in your life, as bad as it can be, it is only temporary. The most part of the people who relate Near To Death Experiences where they found themselves clinically death, confess to have abandoned their bodies and have felt very good. They felt a peace, a harmony, an unconditional love difficult to find in this world.

Personally, I have never been dead. But I have a dream once, more real for me than the daily file. There, I had no body, I was floating in a sea surrounded by another beings like me, capable of feeling what I was feeling and transmiting me their feelings in a more than telepathic way; almost touchable. I felt so light there. When I woke up in my bed, I started to feel much heavier. As if the daily life became heavier, tough, almost like a jail. I didn't like returning to my body, at all. This is a coincidence with what a lot of people described about not wanting to return to their bodies once dead. Some issues made them come back here.

Dreams are like death, because you also escape the heavy load of your body. The difference is that you always come back when you are dreaming, but it does not happen with death. Forgetting the most part of our dreams makes me think that the true reality is that much more expanded realm, and the life here is the dream, the lie.

Independently from all of that, we must live our life here. Knowing that some day it will end, and we will transcend to the other side. That makes us watch it all from a more relative point of view.

It is true that a lot of hard situations do exist, and you have a very bad time. When everything turns against you, and you're completely alone, and you have nobody, nothing to help you. In extreme situations strange phenomena happen. For example, people watching some relative about to be smashed by a car or a tractor and they are capable of lifting it to save that person, with the strenght of their arms alone. People who have never had such strenght before, and they never had it again later. They even needed rehab in a hospital after that because they had broken some rib. The point is... They did it. In that moment, something pushed them.

Victims of rape and torture relate how they stopped feeling their physical body in those moments. As if their consciousness, their Soul, what they really are, decided the limits for feeling pain and suffering.

The truth is that we all have problems. Sometimes, they are very big problems. But after facing them, when the moment of the problem ends (cause everything is temporary), you realize you're stronger than that. It always happens. The moment of desperation, and then... The calm. Like an energy which enters to harmonize everything. Even if it all fails. Even if you cannot trust anybody... You can trust yourself. You can trust your own Soul, which will put a limit to the pain or the intensity of the tests of your life. You can trust everything will come back to an equilibrium, after the storm. Even if you live a life full of turbulences, there will be peaceful moments, and you will transcend that life when you die. 

I think a lot about people who lived extreme lives. Like Anneke Lucas, victim of several rapes when she was a child and tortured for hours. She almost died. I think about Ortega Lara, prison's worker, kidnapped by a terrorist group and living inside a little room of 1,50 x 3 meters for a year.  I think about Marcos Pantoja, mistreated during his childhood and abandoned in the forest when he was five years old, surviving alone with wolves. These experiences marked their lives, but those years were not their whole lives.

A point arrived when the sexual slavery, the kidnap and the abandonment came to an end, and the three of them reconstructed their lives in a different way.

All pain, all suffering, all traumatic circumstances come to an end.

 Sparrows sing sweet melodies next to my window. I would want to be as sweet as them. I would want to fly away. But I am here, closed in my jail another day, wondering when will be the end to all of this. 

It seems like an eternity has passed, and Jungkook doesn't call. He hasn't even sent a message through any servant. I don't even know where he is. I only wish the little huge light of his heart keeps shining, like a beacon guiding him in the middle of the darkness.

Sometimes I want to cry, I want my tears to fit to the endless rain. Eternity with expiring date. Here everything remains the same, but different. As if the time, by passing, changed the same people, places and situations into different ones.

The same street I walked by when I was a child, is not the same street I walked by when I was a child. Now it is located at the same space, but it means a different thing. People are different. The pavements are different. Even the businesses are different. Some of them have changed completely. Others only changed its place. Others were removed. Another ones have been updated.

Anyway, they all mean something different. They are not the same businesses I walked by when I was a child, even the few ones that remain the same.

The same, when it comes back, is different.